


Manga, Guillotines, and Historical Inaccuracies

by Cupckeshrk8D



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Blood, Decapitation, M/M, Mostly humor, but I swear it's actually funny, it's the French Revolution what did you expect?, nothing ends well, so many people die, the thiefshipping doesn't end well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21853993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cupckeshrk8D/pseuds/Cupckeshrk8D
Summary: It's the French Revolution but with Yu-Gi-Oh! characters!Bakura drags his brother into politics, complains about Kaiba, dates Malik, and guillotines one too many people.
Relationships: Yami Bakura/Marik Ishtar
Kudos: 3





	1. Seto

Seto Kaiba looked out the window, staring down at the massive gardens of Versailles. France was a shining beacon in the middle of Europe, and Versailles was at the center of it. They might be in a little bit of debt after helping the colonies free themselves, but it wasn't anything to be concerned about.

He turned to face Pegasus J. Crawford, the finance minister.

"What exactly are you going to about France's debt your Majesty?"

"Just raise the taxes on the third estate."

"But what about your brother's spending habits? France's debt is getting lower and lower, you can't afford to keep this up!"

Seto glared at Pegasus.

"Just raise the taxes, it'll be fine."

"But the first and second estates aren't taxed at all and the third estate can't afford to be taxed any more! Please, I just don't want to see France suffer any longer."

"Did you forget what an absolute monarchy is? It means I am the king and what the king says is law! And I said to tax the third estate."

"Yes your Majesty."

"Good, and while you're at it, I need another Blue Eyes White Dragon jet."

Pegasus slipped out the door into the hallway, quietly grumbling about the fact that this was the 1780s and planes hadn't been invented yet.

Seto sighed, Pegasus might be popular, but he still needed to learn his place. But there were far more pressing matters at hand. The Duel Monsters tournament being held tonight had to go perfectly.

Yet despite how important card games were, he still couldn't stop thinking about things. A part of him deep down agreed with Pegasus. The country couldn't continue on like this.

"Big Brother? Is something wrong?"

Mokuba walked towards his brother, reaching out a hand in comfort, looking up at him in concern.

"It's nothing Mokuba."

"Good! Because this whole mess is nothing to worry about. Just tax the third estate some more and that will make everything better!"

"You're right."

Mokuba grinned.

"I always am."

"Bye the way, I've informed Pegasus to go get us another jet."

"Just one more? What's the point of having only two? We should have three Blue Eyes jets!"

"Of course, I don't know what I was thinking."

* * *

The palace of Versailles buzzed with activity as nobles gathered to attend a lavish card game tournament. No expense was spared, as this was the most impressive Duel Monsters tournament France had ever seen. Not that most of France would actually see it, the event was invitation only. The top two percent of the country planned to have fun, even if it meant increasing the country's astronomical debt even more. Sure the poor might be starving, but they should have thought about that before they decided to become peasants.

Seto grinned as he admired the party before him. There was no reason to worry about the economy. France was as strong as always, and the lavish parties held within Versailles' walls were proof of that. He glanced up from his deck, to hear the conversations that flooded the room.

"Somehow each tournament manages to be more impressive than the last."

"Did you hear how much they spent on the holographic displays?"

"It's nice to be in Versailles and away from Paris. All those enlightenment thinkers are getting annoying"

"I know! What are they thinking? It's been this way forever, you can't just throw divine right in the trash."

"I'm worried about my brother Malik, he's been getting mixed up with a bunch of these philosophers."

"Let's not discuss such negative things. There are card games to be played."

"Yeah, it's not like they're going to revolt or anything!"

* * *

"Your Majesty you have to do something! France's economy is a giant trainwreck! And need I remind you, it's 1789 and trains haven't even been invented yet!"

Pegasus paced back and forth across the room, waving his arms around in frustration. Seto groaned, when would Pegasus stop bringing this up?

"It'll be fine! We can just tax the third estate more to fix this."

"They can't afford any more taxes! In case you haven't noticed, they are literally starving!"

Mokuba looked up from where he lay slumped on a chair, already bored of the conversation.

"It's their fault for being poor! If they didn't want to starve they shouldn't have chosen to be poor! Big brother, just tax the third estate."

"That's not how poverty works!"

"Mokuba's right, just tax the third estate! It'll be fine!"

"Stop saying it will be fine! And stop taking financial advice from a twelve year old! You have to do something! France is falling apart at the seams!"

Seto sighed. There's no denying it any longer.

"Call the Estates General."


	2. Ryou

Ryou looked up from the papers he was sorting at the sound of the door slamming. His twin brother Bakura had barged in, a cocky grin on his face.

"Come on Ryou let's go!"

"What? Where? I'm still filing paperwork for this case and-"

"This is way more important than that! The Estates General has been called."

He grabbed Ryou by the hand and pulled him out of his chair.

"This is our chance for everything I've been talking about!"

"I still don't see what the big deal is."

"It's our chance for us to finally have a say! France ruled not by some stuck up monarch, but by the people! The third estate's voice will finally be heard."

"I guess that does sound really important. But I don't see why I need to go. You're the one who knows all this political stuff."

"C'mon Ryou, I need you for moral support! You're my brother, we're doing this together."

"Okay."

Ryou smiled. He might not get everything his brother said about enlightenment and natural rights, but it was nice seeing how excited he got.

* * *

Ryou looked up towards where Kaiba, the king was. He didn't feel like he had a chance to voice his problems, from where the king sat he was just another face in the crowd.

"So it's admittedly been a while since the estates general has been called-"

"A while? It's been 175 years!"

Ryou gulped, the king's glare was terrifying. He had no idea how his brother could talk about things like republics and consent of the governed, when one glare made it clear who was in charge.

" _Anyway_ , it's been a while so we need to establish how we're doing this vote! France is in severe debt so we need to take this seriously."

The king began to survey the room, his eyes going from the first and second estates to the third.

"I'm thinking the first estate gets one vote, because they are only one percent of the population."

There was some mummers of agreement among the members of the first estate.

"The second estate also gets one vote, because they're only two percent of the population."

The second estate nodded, satisfied with this system.

"And the third estate, who make up the remaining ninety seven percent of the population will obviously get … one vote."

A blonde man, Katsuya Jonouchi if Ryou remembered correctly, pushed to the front of the crowd.

"What the heck? There's way more of us, we should have more votes!"

"Well, let's have a vote to decide whether or not your vote should be worth more. All in favor?"

Ryou quickly raised his hand, along with the rest of the third estate.

"All opposed?"

The first and second estates rose their hands in unison.

"Oh well! Sorry, it looks like the majority has ruled that you should just have one vote."

"But they're not the majority!"

"If you hate it so much, maybe you should create your own government."

Kaiba grinned at Jonouchi with a mocking smile.

"Maybe I will!"

"That was sarcasm you third rate- and he's already out the door."

Kaiba sighed, with a look on his face that implied he was desperately trying to resist the urge to facepalm.

"Let's just adjourn for lunch."

* * *

"It's like he doesn't take us seriously! Is he trying to get France out of debt or not?"

Ryou sighed, his brother had clearly been excited to get some change across with this meeting. But it didn't look like anything was going to happen to the status quo.

"Let's just get back to the meeting okay?"

Ryou smiled weakly as he reached his hand out towards his brother.

"Yeah. We still have time to make them see the truth!"

The two joined the crowd walking back towards the meeting room.

Jonouchi, despite his earlier outburst, was the first to reach the door. He pulled on the door to no avail.

"Guys, we may have a problem!"

"They locked us out?"

"What are they thinking? They can't solve this problem without us!"

Ryou looked towards his brother, worried. Bakura looked frantic, screaming the loudest out of everyone in the crowd. Jonouchi quickly tried to calm his fellow members of the third estate.

"It's okay, we'll just find another room and have our own meeting! Start our own government! We don't need them!"

"You are aware he was making fun of you, right?"

"That doesn't matter, I'm being serious! There's way more of us than of them! If take we charge there's nothing they can do to stop us!"

The crowd began murmuring amongst themselves, eventually swelling to a rousing agreement. Jonouchi confidently led them in search of room to meet in.

* * *

"I know we don't have many options, but do we have to do this in a tennis court?"

Jonouchi glared at the unimpressed member of the crowd.

"Shut up! This is a historic moment. For years to come they'll talk of the tennis court oath!"

"And what exactly is this oath?"

"We're going to be the National Assembly, and we're not going to stop until we establish a constitution for France!"

The crowd began cheering, and Ryou was soon swept up in the excitement. It now actually felt like they could do something. They were going to accomplish something, and all of his brother's dreams of freedom and liberty were being brought to fruition.

* * *

The National Assembly, now called the National Constituent Assembly had been meeting for a while now, wherever they found time and space. Despite his disinterest in politics, Ryou had somehow been roped into attending every single one of these meetings. 

To be honest, they were all the same. There were a lot of speeches about the purpose of government, but nothing seemed to be actually accomplished with them.

And after a while even Bakura's enthusiasm seemed to be dwindling. He still wanted to accomplish something, but as he repeatedly ranted to anyone who would listen, the assembly wasn't focusing on the true problem. They needed to do something about the king.

Ryou sighed. He was worried. The assembly seemed to be splitting at the seams. It wasn't much yet, but the disagreement about the king was growing. They spent ages arguing over a question Ryou had never even considered before.

Was a king actually necessary?

But Ryou was quickly distracted from his thoughts by someone entering the room. At the sound of the door slam he instinctively assumed it was Bakura, but no, Bakura was still right next to him. It was a noble who had joined the assembly a couple of weeks after the tennis court oath.

"You guys know the finance minister, Pegasus J. Crawford, right?"

"Yeah, we're not idiots Malik. Get to the point."

"Well, he published the Royal family's budget and spending habits."

Malik handed over a stack of papers, which were quickly passed around the room.

"This is insane!"

"Why does one man need three jets shaped like dragons?"

"This has to be a joke!"

"Who spends this much money on trading cards?"

"This is exactly what I've been talking about! We don't need some greedy jerk who cares more about a children's card game than the state of this country!"

"Could Pegasus get in trouble for this?"

“It’s not like they’ll fire him, right?”

* * *

Ryou looked up at the sound of Bakura loudly barging in to the room. He never could enter without slamming the door. It was probably on purpose, seeing as how it instantly made him the center of attention. 

“They fired Pegasus!”

* * *

Ryou did not attend the next meeting. Bakura had begged and pleaded, but he refused.

After Pegasus was fired, things kind of exploded. People were angry, and that anger had led to violence. 

He had hidden from the crowd when they gathered to storm the Bastille. It was terrifying, seeing them parade around the heads of Isono and Saruwatari on pikes. 

Was this what his brother wanted?


	3. Malik

Malik supposed it was probably concerning how eager the revolution was to embrace violence, but he wasn't going to question it. The assembly was created by the third estate, for the third estate. Interrupting to ask them about it would probably be rude.

Besides, what were a couple of deaths for the sake of liberty?

At least, that was what Bakura said. And Bakura was very confident about what he said. He was enthusiastic and outspoken, desperate for justice, and not afraid to show it. Malik supposed that was why he admired him.

The storming of the Bastille clearly had been good for the revolution. The National Constituent Assembly was now effectively in charge of France, with the king nothing more than a figure head.

"So how does it feel to finally be getting what you want?"

Malik grinned at Bakura.

"This isn't enough! Why are they still clinging to the monarchy as if we actually needed him? Are they that desperate to cling to the past?"

Ryou sighed, gathering up his paperwork and heading to the door.

"I'm just going to leave you to your politics and thiefshipping"

Bakura continued his rant, not noticing Ryou leaving.

"It almost looks like they don't even care about the revolution!"

* * *

Jonouchi proudly stood in front of the assembly.

"So we've got something important to do today!"

A member of the crowd Malik didn't recognise looked unimpressed.

"I thought every meeting was supposed to be important?"

"The National Constituent Assembly is always important, but today even more so!"

"What exactly are we doing?"

"I was about to get to that! Today we're drafting the Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen! It's going to list our natural rights that all men are entitled to. Does anyone have any ideas as to what should be included?"

"Life, liberty and property?"

"Consent of the governed?"

"Kings are stupid and they should be guillotined?"

"Bakura!"

"What?"

* * *

Malik looked out the window, concerned. An angry crowd was gathering outside.

Bakura?"

"Yes Malik?"

"Surely you've noticed the angry crowd of women currently storming through Paris?"

"I thought it was an anime convention."

"Why would an anime convention … nevermind. They're apparently heading to Versailles."

"And?"

"Well, it's part of this whole revolution thing that means so much to you."

"Yeah, but Versailles sucks. They don't even have enough toilets. Maybe I'll join them when they come back to Paris"

* * *

"Hey Bakura, the mob's back."

Bakura stood up and joined Malik at the window. He grinned upon seeing who they had dragged along with them.

"They got Kaiba! Hey Malik do you think they'll execute him?"

He started heading to the door.

"I'm going to go check this out. I'll be right back."

Bakura walked out the door, leaving Malik to wait for his return.

However he had not sat back down for even a second before the door slammed back open.

"That was fast."

"If there's no guillotine, I've got no reason to be there."

* * *

"Is all of this worth it?"

Malik looked towards Bakura.

"All of what?"

"This! This whole revolution!"

Bakura looked up into Malik's eyes.

"Of course it is. I want France, the world to be a good place. I want to live in a world without inequality, without fear. I want to be with you. And I don't want taxes or an unjust monarchy to get in the way of that."

He reached out and grabbed Malik's hand.

"Isn't that worth any cost?"

Malik nodded. As unsure as he was, Bakura just sounded so confident. And Malik didn't want to doubt him. Bakura gave him the strength to stand, a reason to move forward, something more to his life. He loved Bakura, and if this revolution was what Bakura needed, than Malik would support it.

  
  


It was strange how fast time seemed to fly despite all that was happening. The government kept changing. People kept arguing. 

The country was at war. The rest of Europe wasn't exactly happy with the whole revolution thing and France was desperately trying to fight them off.

And on top of that, the revolution seemed to be getting more and more radical. Nobles and clergy were being rounded up and arrested. Bakura had been able to vouch for him, but wasn't able to stop them from taking his sister Isis.

Yet despite all that, it was the September of 1792 in the blink of an eye.  
  


* * *

"Bakura?"

Malik quietly entered the room, his eyes wet with tears.

"What's wrong?"

His boyfriend reached forward to comfort him, concerned.

"They … they raided the prisons. They were scared that antirevolutionary ideas were spreading, and Isis, my family, they killed them."

Bakura stared at Malik for a few moments in shock.

"It's … it's going to be okay."

"Okay? I thought this revolution was supposed to be about freedom? Why Bakura, why? What's next, guillotining everyone they disagree with?"

Bakura paused, seemingly in deep thought.

"Um, I didn't mean that as a suggestion."

* * *

Kaiba, once a king, now a criminal about to be executed, glared at Bakura.

"Seto Kaiba, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

"I want a lawyer!"

Bakura grinned in a mocking smile so similar to the ones Kaiba used to make.

"I am a lawyer."

Chop!


	4. Bakura

"Anzu Mazaki, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

"Why do you call this justice? Demanding rights for men while you ignore women, and now you've sent me to the guillotine for asking for the same rights that you covet! You false heroes will soon meet your end. People realise the truth! This is not true equality! This is tyranny! Do not give up! Fight for your rights! Fight for equality! Fight so that one day France may see true-"

Chop!

Bakura glared down at the criminal's head. When he asked if she had any last words it wasn't an invitation to make a speech.

"Wait, why are we not ignoring sexism? This story isn't exactly historically accurate."

Bakura turned to the crowd to see who had dared to speak out.

"Because she's supposed to be Olympe de Gouges, who was executed for writing about Women's rights!"

"But if we're ignoring racism and homophobia, shouldn't we also be ignoring sexism? It seems kind of hypocritical."

"Shut up!"

* * *

"Koji Nagumo, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

"This still doesn't make any sense, why-"

Chop!

Ah. That was much better. His complaints were really annoying. Only Pegasus is allowed to get away with pointing out historical inaccuracies.

* * *

Bakura was not mad with power. It's not his fault that everyone was just asking to get beheaded. Sure people were calling it the "Reign of Terror", but if they didn't want to be executed for being enemies of the revolution then they shouldn't have been enemies of the revolution.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening. It was quiet, unlike the loud slamming that always announced his presence, but in the empty room it was still quite audible.

"Hello Ryou."

"You have to stop, Bakura."

"Yeah that's not going to happen."

"People are dying, Bakura!"

Ryou looked at his brother, disgusted. Tears were welling up in his eyes.

Bakura was unimpressed.

"Well yeah, it'd be kind of creepy if I beheaded people and they didn't die."

"Take this seriously Bakura!"

"Oh, you want me to take this seriously?"

"Yes!"

"Okay."

"Wait really?"

"You're seriously getting on my nerves."

* * *

"Ryou Bakura, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

"Wait why is my last name still Bakura in this fic? Doesn't this mean your name is Bakura Bakura?"

Chop!

Bakura Bakura grinned. Ryou was much less annoying as a decapitated head. His blood was a beautiful shade of red that gleamed in the afternoon sun. Plus being dead meant he couldn't complain about Bakura being a maniacal tyrant, mad with power. 

Unfortunately he couldn't admire his brother's corpse for long, because a baby in the crowd was being really annoying. Would a guillotine work on a baby? Well, there was one way to find out.

* * *

"Johji I don't know what your last name is, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

"I-"

Chop!

"Just kidding. I don't like you, why would I let you speak?"

Nobody in the crowd was particularly upset by Johji's death.

* * *

With that interruption out of the way, Bakura was back in his room, diligently working on a speech about how awesome guillotines are.

Unfortunately, the door was opened yet again.

"Again? I just finished executing Ryou and that random baby!"

Malik looked at him from the doorway, horrified.

"You … you killed Ryou?"

"Yeah. I don't see what the big deal was."

"He was your brother!"

"And he was being annoying."

Bakura grumbled. He was not in the mood for an argument with his boyfriend.

"It's actually an improvement honestly. Corpses can't complain."

Malik stumbled backwards in shock.

"Bakura, why? You used to care, you used to talk about freedom and liberty and … and when did the guillotine become more important to you than that?"

"The guillotine does provide freedom. It frees people's heads from their bodies."

"You told me you wanted France, the world to be a good place. You wanted to live in a world without inequality, without fear."

Tears streamed down Malik's face.

"Well people are pretty afraid now!"

"You're being really angsty Malik. It's kind of dragging down the mood."

"What?"

"Ever since the September Massacres you've been whining non stop."

Bakura rolled his eyes.

"My sister got murdered! My boyfriend won't stop beheading people!"

Malik stared in shock, seemingly questioning if Bakura was being serious.

"That's what you sound like. It's so annoying. This story is supposed to be humor, not angst."

"Well what are you going to do? Execute me?"

Bakura grinned.

"That's a good idea!"

* * *

"Malik Ishtar, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

"I hope my death torments your conscience for the rest of your miserable life!"

Chop!

The crowd stared in shock. Pushing to the front was a girl wearing a blonde wig and a light purple hoodie that exposed her midriff.

"Okay that is just too far!"

Screams exploded amongst the crowd. They charged forward, overwhelming Bakura.

"Hey don't mess with the hair! Let go of me!"

He kicked and screamed as the angry mob dragged him up to the guillotine.

"Bakura Bakura, you are found guilty of being an enemy of the revolution! Any last words?"

Well, this was the end. Trapped in the guillotine, his neck felt stiff. Malik's blood dripped down from the blade. The smell was overwhelming, almost as much as the maddening screams from the crowd.

He supposed that there were worse ways to go than being publicly executed by a Malik fangirl in front of a screaming mob. But still, there was one thing that still bothered him. Something that burned in the back of mind, just out of reach. It tormented him. What was it?

Oh yeah!

"Your cosplay is inaccurate. This fic based on the manga, not the anime."

Chop!


	5. Atem

Atem drummed his fingers on the edge of his desk. It still seemed insane how much he had accomplished in so little time.

It was hard to believe it was only eighteen years after Bakura, the tyrannical leader of the Jacobins, was executed. Yet now here he stood, or rather sat. The emperor of France. A great military leader. He was on top of the world.

Now if only he could get people to stop making short jokes, then everything would be perfect.

But what now? Where should he take his conquest of Europe next? Perhaps he should invade Russia. There's no way that could ever go wrong.


End file.
